Before the Chinese Wedding

Most people take about a year to plan for their weddings.  Chinese are no exception, especially this generation is still trying to follow all the Chinese traditions and customs, not to mention together with the western style ceremony. The following steps show how it first started.  They look very simple.  But if you go into details, you will realize that how much time and effort involved. 1. Blessing from the Parents of the Bride-to-be 2. Pick the Best Time for Everything 3. Bringing Gifts to Her Parents 4. Hair-Combing Ceremony Traditionally, the wedding was always arranged by the parents. Therefore, there are a lot of ceremonies and customs that need to go through. Even without pre-arranged marriages nowadays, we still follow some of them.	Ready for Hair-Combing Ceremony
1. Blessing from the Parents of the Bride-to-be Once the couple confirmed to get married, groom-to-be would go to ask for the blessing from her parents. The main difference of the Chinese wedding is the groom needs to take the major responsibility of all the expenses. After the reveal of the marriage, some parents of the bride-to-be will ask for a certain amount of money. It really depends on how much the parents want and how much the groom-to-be can afford. It ranges from a few thousand dollars to over $20,000. To the parents, this ritual symbolizes how important their daughter is. Of course, some just want to have the money.
2. Pick the Best Time for Everything Chinese always believe in the fortune tellers whom represent the gods that they believe in. So, the first thing for them to do is to pick the best date and hour for the following rituals: Wedding Date Day for the groom-to-be taking gifts over to her parents Hour for the bride-to-be to have hair combing ceremony Hour for the bride to step out of her parents’ house The best date and time will be different for different couples due to their date and time of birth.
3. Bringing Gifts to Her Parents Once the date is confirmed, the couple-to-be will work together for the wedding. About a month before the wedding, the groom-to-be must bring the gifts to her parents including the following: Amount of money promised 2 Big Coconuts Engagement Letter Chinese couplet 2 Live Chickens (A male and a female) Towel with the Chinese character "Double Happiness" Some jewelery Coconuts is called "Yeh Chi" in Chinese.  The pronounciation is the same as the meaning of "the in-laws healthy and having many children".  In other words, 3 generations are together. Engagement letter is a list of the gifts that the groom-to-be brought over.  In the old Chinese world, the richer the groom-to-be, the rmore gifts he would bring over.  Sometimes, there were several cart loads of stuffs pulled by the horses. In China, wedding expenses have been paid by the men for a long time. After receiving these gifts, the bride-to-be has to give some back.  This symbolizes the sharing of the blessing. Chinese couplet are supposed to put up on both sides of the main entrance of the house of bride's-to-be parents.  It is believed that it will attract the blessings from the sprirts and gods. The towel is used by the bride to wrap and protect the jewelery from the guests on the wedding day.  Also, it can be used to wrap the men's deed of his properties. Some brides have older siblings whom still haven’t married yet. The groom-to-be must give him/her/them red pocket money for each. Otherwise, the bride-to-be’s sibling(s) would have bad luck. Some very traditional families would not even allow the older, single sibling(s) to see the younger ones stepping out of the house on the date of marriage. Some would hang a pair of pants on top of the door frame and let the new couple to walk under. Also, during those several months before the wedding, the couple would go to take their wedding pictures at the studio. Unlike in the western society, the groom-to-be is allowed to look at the bride-to-be in her wedding dress. Most of the time, the bride will have several wedding dresses on the wedding day. The couples are not allowed to see each other the day before the wedding. Plus, they will be very busy at preparing the rest of the stuffs for the wedding date, especially the bride-to-be.
4. Hair-Combing Ceremony This ceremony takes place the night before the wedding. Before that, the bride-to-be must take a shower or bath with a certain kind of leaves. Then, she must put on a brand new red/pink sleeping gown. When the best hour comes (which was picked by the fortune teller before), she needs to sit down facing the open area with 2 Chinese red candles burning in front of her. A woman that the bride-to-be invited would help the bride to comb her hair. When the bride-to-be decided to invite this lady, there are several rules that must be followed: a) She is not the bride’s mother b) She is still married c) She has her own children and at least one of them is married. And this lady would prepare the Chinese stuffed rice balls as dessert called “Tong Yuen” meaning “Togetherness”. While the hair is being combed, the woman would say the following: First comb, combing till the end Second comb, may you both getting old together and happily Third comb, may your children having their own children for generations After the completion of the ceremony, the hair-combing lady will clip a couple leaves, the same kind of that the bride-to-be used in her bath before the ceremony, on the bride’s hair which they must stay on for the rest of the night. And the bride-to-be will go ahead to finish her dessert. It must be finished. Otherwise, there will be bad luck to the couple. Groom-to-be has his hair combing ceremony, too.  But the rules are not as strict as hers.
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