The wedding day is definitely the busiest day for the couple. Everybody
starts moving around 5-6am. In between, these are the events involved throughout the day until almost midnight or after:
1. Funny Games and Tests before the Couple Can See Each Other
2. Traditional Rituals after the Couple Sees Each Other
3. Bride Leaves Her Parent’s House for Her In-Laws’
4. Vows Exchanged
5. The Reception
1. Funny Games and Tests before the Couples
Can See Each Other
On the wedding day, everything starts super early and everybody is going to be very busy.
The following table will show you the busy schedule of both sides
of the bride and groom that they do all these things at the same time at separate places.
Bride | Groom |
1) Make up and hair styling | 1) All best men arrive at the house of the groom’s parents and decorate the car to pick
up the bride. |
2)
Put on traditional Chinese wedding gown |
|
3) All best ladies prepare and decorate the house of the bride’s parents for the groom to come |
|
Best ladies would use a very long, big and thick ribbon with a big ribbon flower to divide
the area where the groom and the best men. So, none of them can come across until they give and do something according
to the requests from the best ladies.
Before the groom can step
into the house, he needs to pay a red pocket money. The best men and best ladies always love to bargain with each other.
Of course, the best ladies want to get more while the men want to pay less. Actually, both sides know ahead of time
how much they are going to give and get. So, whatever happens in between before and after is just the way to create the exciting
atmosphere.
After the groom and the best men stepped into the
house, they will expect the unexpected to come.
There are games which are totally different from the western world.
It can be anything coming out of anybody’s mind. The best ladies always think of some funny games to test the groom
if he really loves the bride.
In my sister’s wedding,
they made my brother-in-law to eat dessert and drink milk which is 2 of the stuffs that he hates.
One of my friends’
wedding, the best ladies made the groom to hold the Chinese brush with his mouth and holding him upside down to write a big
Chinese word “love” on a piece of board. Ladies, if you are very creative, you can definitely show off your talent
here.
2. Traditional Rituals after the Couple Sees Each
Other
After completing all the tasks and the best ladies are satisfied, the
groom will be allowed to step into the room and bring out the bride. Sometimes, the mother will bring the bride out of her
room.
Then, the couple must kneel down and give out tea to
her family, starting from her grandparents, parent and older siblings. Some will give out tea to her younger sibling(s). But
the couples and the younger sibling(s) must stand up to give and receive at this situation.
When this ceremony is taking place, there is a woman standing next to the couple holding a big tray of tea,
she will receive all the red pocket monies from everyone who drinks the tea from the couple. Traditionally, she is the woman
that introduced the couples’ families to each other and gets this marriage arranged.
3. Bride Leaves Her Parent’s House for Her In-Laws’
After
that, the bride and groom are heading to the groom’s house.
Before stepping out, there must be one person
to hold a red umbrella for the bride and another one will throw rice towards the umbrella while the bride is walking underneath
it.
When the couple arrive at the groom’s house, they
will ask a little boy about 5 or younger to jump on their bed (if they are going to live with the groom’s parents).
This symbolizes to wish the couple to have their children, especially having boys as soon as possible.
Then, they will kneel down to give tea to everybody, just the same when they were in
the bride’s parent’s house.
4. Vows Exchanged
After that, they are heading to the registration office or church to exchange vows, just like
in the western world.
The bride will throw her bouquet of flowers and see which best lady caught it. After these
ceremonies, they would head to the restaurant for the reception.
5.
The Reception
The meal is usually served around 9pm. Most of the time, guests
can start going in about 4 or 5 pm where they can play “majong” (a Chinese game with 4 players at the same time).
Before the dinner starts, the couple would take pictures with all the guests. If some
seniors didn’t show up in the earlier ceremonies until the reception, the couple will give out tea to them at this time.
While the couples are busy at greeting their guests, they must have already assigned
some of their best men and best ladies at the entrance. Their job is to request the guests to have the autographs or some
best wishes for the couple.
Traditionally, the guests would do it on a piece of red cloth which was treated as
marriage certificate in the old Chinese world. Nowadays, some couples like my sister and brother-in-law would have a paper
scroll with their wedding picture printed in the middle of it.
At
the same time, there is one relative either from the bride or groom’s family to collect the gifts or money from the
guests.
Before the dinner starts, the couple will give a little speech
to show their gratitude to their parents for all these years and all their friends and families. Then, the couple will cut
the cake and make a toast to their guests.
One of the neatest things
that my sister put together before the dinner was a CD. It included a song that the couple thought it representing their love
to each other as background music.
And there are some pictures since the couple were born, pictures when they
were dating ended with their wedding pictures.
There are totally 10-12
entrees in the dinner which is a must. Some dishes must be included, such as roasted whole piggy, shark fin soup, abalone,
fried rice, noodles, dessert and oranges.
During the dinner, the bride
would change her evening gowns a couple of times. A little bit after that, the couple and their direct family members must
go to every table to make a toast and show gratitude to their guests.
Sometimes, the best men and best ladies would arrange some kind of games for the couples for fun after the toast. And this
is the traditions for hundreds of years. Games are always very ironical to reflect what the couples would do with each other
when they are alone at their first night of marriage. But some couples would prefer not to have any games in between.
At the end of the dinner, the couple would give out the leftover of the roasted piggy
to their direct families. This is a must, especially to the bride’s family because it symbolizes that the bride is still
a virgin.
And all the direct family members of the couple and the
couple themselves must stand at the exit to greet every guest goodbye and thanking them for coming.
6. After the Reception
However, this is not
the end of the day yet. The best men and best ladies would go to the house or room of the newly-wed. They will tease the couple
and make fun with them.
Traditionally, this custom is to make a better atmosphere for the newly-wed to get to
know each other, especially for the arranged marriage.
Usually,
around 1-2 in the next morning, everybody would leave the couples when they finally can have their own moment of each other.
But there are more after the wedding date. The ritual has not ended
yet.
